Sunday, July 22, 2007

Another dismal rainy week gone by....

Stel has officially begun his training for the Adventure Challenge triathalon in support of Canuck Place Children's Hospice. Saturday morning 8 am he was off the deep cove Kayaking. Though it was raining, the scenery is beautiful and he seemd to enjoy it. He has come to realize though that he is too tall for comfortable kayaking!!! Tonight in the rain he took the bike out for the first time in possibly 2 years. He decided he needs a new bike seat for when he actually goes more than a couple blocks and for sure no trails on that seat!

We went to see Grease at Theatre Under the Stars in Stanley Park ths week, I highly recomend it. All of us enjoyed it even B who didn't really want to go!!

Baby I has had a very tough week, high fevers then full body rash which she still has. She has Roseola and man is she not a happy girl. She is miserable, we are all miserable....

Sleep has been at a premium here this week... And when this happens I lay awake and think about what needs to get done, what didn't get done, the bills, the future..... I find thinking about the future to be very tough; I think sometimes as a a special needs parent the only way to survive is to do as an addict does. One day at a time. I know that one day at a time is the way to keep my mind clear and positive. But when I cannot sleep my mind fills with thoughts of the future and I just cannot fathom what our future will hold. Though S is doing well and he does make advances in his own way and time; he knows so much but just cannot show us and he does get frustrated with us when we don't know what he wants or when we answer in the wrong way. But as time goes by the things that were so cute as a toddler and child won't and aren't seen as cute as an adolescent and teen. We love him fully and that will never change. I also worry very much about B and Baby I; they adore him now, but will there be a day when they loose their affection and it turn to embarrasment? It is so hard to be different when you are a kid, will they be strong enough to embrace S and love him on an unconditional basis? Will we raise them right.. B is so beyond fantastic to his siblings, we are so proud of him. Recently with friends over, one friend made a comment that S doesn't know anything and instantly B stood up for him and told him he is so smart and does know a lot, just that that friend doesn't know how to talk to him and watch for S's answers. I had been in the washroom and overheard them in the back-yard and was just so proud of B, and so glad that that was when my bladder was full so i could overhear this.... B is always standing up for S, I hope Baby I will also be so good with her big brother.

3 comments:

doubledouble said...

I am more than certain that they will never be embarrassed by S!! Really, really certain!!!!!

Erica and gang said...

Jen, what you are feeling is completely normal. I had those same thoughts many, many, times. As Beth got older, and made new friends that had not grown up with Robbie, she had to explain him and deal with some not so nice comments all the time. B and Baby I will always love S no matter what, and there may be a time when they will have emotions and feelings that may be of the not so loving nature. BUT, remember that all siblings go through that (Lexx and Chris cannot stand each other right now). Love you guys!

Gracie&Connor'sMama said...

of all the parents I know you are the one i admire most. i am constantly awed and inspired by what you do for your children. Never doubt that you and Stel are raising your children right. There is no template for your situation and i think you are fantastic. as for B, you know how i feel about him. he's an amazing boy whose capacity for compassion is inspiring.